Sort of like...a shooting star

When people talk about it, they say it's unexpected. You always think it will be crazy, but you never know how crazy it is until it happens.
It's funny...how life is. I spent 19 years being mostly lonely. Thinking I needed someone else to complete me. In my head I kept telling myself this was wrong. But even though I kept telling myself, I didn't believe it. I spent time honestly looking and searching.
There's always a possibility we may eat our words later. But that's not how it feels right now, right here.
So I dated a jerk, like so many girls do. It wasn't because I was stupid or shallow...I was honestly lonely and thought that maybe, just maybe this guy saw something in me. The more I tried, the worse it got.
I realized the mistake I was making when things got out of control. And I shut it down. I have the most poison pen in the world, if you make me mad enough. Sure, punches smart...but I can get pretty angry with words.
In that very moment, I stopped looking. I wanted NOTHING to do with boys. Within a week a guy was trying to coax me out of it. I thought he was cute, but I had been messed with. I wasn't ready to try yet.
And that's when I stopped looking.
I didn't even look his way. He wasn't even an option at first. He seemed like the guy who would love someone else, need someone else. So I didn't even think about it.
He took an interest in me.
The first night we hung out, he gave me my first hard liquor--something blue and bright that stung. It loosened my tongue quite a bit.
Upon reflection, I wasn't tired that night, but now I know alcohol makes me extremely tired. That night, the first night we hung out, I spent the night.
At about four in the morning, he tried to make out with me. It was so silly...I stopped him because I thought I was bad at it. He tried to hide the disappointment in his voice.
The next days...the next weeks I found myself drawing so close to him, becoming inseparable.
That is when I fell in love with Max Seltenrich.
I have never, ever felt so intensely for someone ever. It's so crazy, I can't believe it...and so unexpected. It's so hard to explain to someone on the outside....
Hmmm.
I don't know what the future holds for us. Maybe we'll stay together. Maybe we'll break up. But I never want to be sorry I said I was falling in love. Never. It's the real thing.