Balancing Act

I felt at times so ready to fail.
But lately I was happy.
It was so refreshing to walk into a room full of people and feel special. To be the first, and not have everyone jaded against you. To feel the glow coming off the person next to you as he introduced you, or he was congratulated.
Maybe it was something I made up in my head before, but it felt markedly different to be amongst this family. Maybe it was because they had more faith in togetherness. More faith in people staying together, and not being a phase. It might be, of course, that I was a phase. But I was the first and I was not viewed as such.
I wasn't met with the expectation to fail.
And he loosened up. It was the warmest I'd felt him in days. He had been warm, that's not to say he hadn't been. But today he felt loose and calm. The edge fizzled a little bit away. The uneasiness that separated us dissipated. He had is hand in mine, and eventually it shifted to be placed around my shoulders. This felt so special, so full and real. It was warm.
I could feel a spark between us I hadn't felt in the past weeks. It was nice to have it back again. His lips to mine sent trails of fire up my body. It felt like lightning, blocking out every thought and emotion except that moment. No other world existed. It was nice to feel our attraction match, coinciding so beautifully for this moment, the way I felt it should be.
His body was starting to fit mine, I was starting to feel comfortable in it, like breaking in new jeans and feeling them finally give way to your shape, your quirks, the way you held your body, the way you walked, the way you hugged, the way you moved. Not quite like a glove, but it was getting there.
I could feel the stress emanating from him, and from me, over the anxiety of finals and what they meant to each of us individually. I wanted this to clear away, so that threat on our minds could clear. I wanted us to be happy and care free (well, as care free as we could be, being science students.)
This felt more normal. Caring about me part of the time, caring about him part of the time. Caring about us both, a tandem that felt balanced and strong, even in times of stress.
I had new hope and light.
I had my individuality and I had him.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.