Validation

It was odd how something so simple validated me.
And why did I need this validation?
I guess it helped to know that someone saw me as valuable, as beautiful, as sexy. I had gotten better at recognizing this in myself, but someone else recognizing it always gave me a little boost.
He still wanted to talk to me the next day.
He texted me saying he hoped I got home alright. I hadn't expected him to text me first thing in the morning, but I guess I had always hoped. I did feel a little guilty for macking with two guys in one night...but the other one was too drunk to tell the difference, and he had been the one at the end of the night, so that was kosher...right?
Yes I know. I'm iffy about that one as well.
Then there was the ex. I had gone to him in a time of dire need, and now he was worried about me. I had wanted to see him before, but was it just because I had had a need to be validated?
Because now I felt guilty talking to him. I cared about him, and I knew this wasn't wrong, but...no. No but. He hadn't admitted to wanting me too, so he couldn't be angry with me for this and I shouldn't feel guilty.
I had done what I wanted, and was bathing in the glow for right now. Somebody else liked me, saw my worth.
"What are your boundaries?"
I didn't like to acknowledge that I was an attention whore, but I kind of was. I wasn't going to hang around people who thought little of me, or that I was worthless. It just wasn't going to happen. I was young and single, and wanted to distance myself from the married fate my friends had subjected themselves to. I wanted to have fun, so I would.
"I'm drunk."
There was something to be said about real life encounters, where people actually had a filter on the things they said, but alcohol brought people out of their shell.
I realized I shouldn't judge what drunk people do, since I do an assortment of stupid things myself.
On another note, I realized someone following my blog actually knows me. I hadn't realized it before, and I felt bad for not knowing earlier. It helped me to know that everyone has vulnerabilities, no matter how perfect they seem to be, and it was odd to see someone in a very personal light. I viewed her blog in a new light, knowing I know her.
Things were changing, I was changing. I had to have the gumption to move on.
My life was so bright and full of promise. It was about time I just embraced it.