Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind

I was entirely too grumpy.
Why did sucking at sports bug me right now? It had never bugged me before. Before I had just accepted it as a normal part of my existence. It was just something about me I couldn't really change. It wasn't his fault I was crappy at it, and seemed to get crappier. He even put it away. I could tell I was being cantankerous, but I found it hard to care even though I KNEW I was getting on his nerves. Mental note: try not to be such a brat.
Then he didn't want to pick me up. I was angry about that even though I knew why he didn't want to. So I did the right thing after complaining. I went and got his backpack that he forgot and rode trax. But then I ruined it by complaining about time lost together. That just made me more upset.
There is another point here I will make in a minute.
When I came, he was tired and he fell asleep. I desperately wanted him to notice I wasn't talking. But I knew he would take this as me being tired. Or did he? I don't know. I didn't fall asleep for a half an hour. Most of that time I stared at the ceiling wishing he would notice I was awake.
I knew it wasn't his fault but I wanted to talk to him.
Because today I saw someone.
No one I knew but a girl wearing a sorority sweatshirt.
Only, that's not what I noticed first. First I noticed her legs.
She was wearing heels, walking along. For some reason her legs triggered a response. I immediately thought of her. The girl I wanted more than anything to outclass. I wanted to be more beautiful, more charming, more loveable than her. And those legs brought me quickly into focus. Or out of focus, as the case may be. I don't know why this was bugging me lately, but I felt...I felt as if he hadn't been ready. As if he had deluded himself into thinking he was ready to pursue something with someone else and I was just an unfortunate casualty. The memories of her constantly were dredged up. And never having been in any kind of relationship, I had to wonder. Did he just keep moving to avoid the pain?
Again I was the unfortunate casualty.
I wanted to know...hopefully knowing wouldn't destroy me.