How Am I Supposed to Pretend I Never Want to See You Again?

It absolutely broke my heart.
I felt like we were over.
Again.
I didn't trust him, so he didn't feel close to me. And because he didn't feel close to me, I lost hope. I didn't trust him more. And so the circle continued. I felt like I had permanently broken it. Like I wasn't good enough to keep it going. I wish I could just trust him and he could just love me. I felt like that was never going to happen. One was not going to happen before the other, at least that's how I felt.
So we were stuck in this weird sort of impasse.
He was never going to love me again.
And that absolutely broke my heart.

"How am I supposed to pretend I never want to see you again?"
~ From Campus by Vampire Weekend