Terror

I was so afraid of the judgment of others I kept this to myself.
Which wasn't exactly the best idea.
I guess I shared it here, but I knew no one read it, so I was free to say it. I let out my frustrations and sadness, but I had no one to talk to about it, no one I felt that would care.
I was so afraid that by admitting the small faults in our relationship to others, I would receive harsh judgment. I was afraid they would tell me to break up with him, and that it served me right for getting back together with him. I didn't want that kind of attention. I wanted them to listen free of judgment. But they already judged him for hurting me before. So I kept it to myself, worried. I knew relationships were hard, and had no perfect happiness. Which is why I stuck with him. Because he did make me happy. I wish people could understand that. That I needed to talk to people about the things that made me upset, and that I was ok.
I was so afraid.