Dripping Feta

Drip drip drip.
The feta was leaking.
Why did I feel so alone in this moment? Why did I feel so alone today? What was it that made me feel as if I couldn't be close to anyone at this time?
I felt so entirely shut off. Like someone had decided to turn the lights off without my permission. And then I found myself stumbling in the dark, running into closet doors and tripping over pairs of shoes wondering what the heck was going on.
I knew I had friends around me, but in this moment, for some strange reason, I felt as if none of them understood what I was going through. Or perhaps they did, but none of them truly honestly cared. I could ask nothing more of them except what they had already given, so I sat in silence as they laughed.
I wanted to laugh too.
It was so strange that my once best friend was entirely cut out of my life. One of the people with whom I shared everything- every feeling and touch, whisper and secret, joke and laugh. Although here was the catch.
He hadn't shared everything with me.
And even when he had, he hadn't divulged every detail. I was left to grasp in the dark, fuddling with my buttons. It was enough to get me walking and never want to look back.
Though I did eventually look back.
There was too much pain there, too much longing on my part. I wanted my best friend back, but because of circumstance and the fact that he couldn't bear to love me, I could no longer have him back.
I was nothing special to him, just another unfortunate bump in the road he would feel guilty about for a couple of days and then eventually move past.
Maybe my anger and sadness and loneliness was displaced. I didn't know where to put it, so I spread it to those around me. And when that only matters worse, I closed my eyes and hoped no one noticed when I shoved it into my broken, leaking feta container.