Happy Heart

"a wealth of flowers
a hint of warmth
a deepening of emotions
wear it and have
a happy heart."
wow.
Clinique really knows how to say it.
It seems so silly that something written on a box could strike a chord so deep within me. And so silly that I was a girl who could wear perfume. But I was. And I was smelling myself, sticking my nose down my shirt, breathing it in. It made me...so happy. The smell was so fresh and clear...and me.
I looked at the bottle, and never have been in love with a simple scent so much, especially not perfume. It was clear, with a red metallic lid, in a cylindrical shape, but more like an oval...instead of a circle cylinder?
This is trivial.
But so...wow.
I needed change, and I got it. I started to wear make up. I wanted to wear different clothes than what I usually felt comfortable in. I felt...almost...ostentatious.
The small scent left me mesmerized, and I was in love from the beginning. And more than anything in the world, I wanted the promise on the box to be true.
"wear it and have a happy heart."
I wanted a happy heart. I wanted...to not feel this deafening loneliness anymore. It surrounded me and strangled me with a grip soft and smothering. But I knew it wasn't going to go away soon. And that tortured me. Made me miserable, smote all flame of hope.
I was going to go back to what I knew best. The water. I was going to swim away all pain and sadness.
I was going to be healthy. It was required now. If I was going to start burning calories, I had to replace them. Or else risk the unhealthyness. And that was not an option.
I was going to work out me.