You Let It Go

I resisted every part of my body that was desperate to reach out to him...every part that told me to pull him in, and grasp him tight.
He was sad.
Sad was something I couldn't handle. Something I couldn't turn away from. But then was I his crutch? Was I allowing him to fall into the same behavior? To keep the bad habit going. I was just...another bad habit for him. I was just what was comfy and safe...but he had made his decision regarding me.
I felt like I'd been speared. My limbs flopped asunder. His sadness pierced me. But I couldn't turn back. After his roommate chewed me out, no way. I had to wait. Wait until he was strong enough to come to me, maybe longer. I didn't want to. I wanted to leap into his arms right now, give him the comfort he wanted and needed. But that was in no way a good idea.
With each day I felt my strength declining...what I once thought was a good idea was no longer a good idea. What I thought was a bad idea was suddenly becoming more ok. I tried to fight it...
One thought pestered me and ate away at my misgivings.
"If you love something, you let it go."
Is that what I had to do to make it alright?
Let it go.
I desperately clung to it. But so far I hadn't spoken a word to him in...twenty four hours? New record for me. Very new. So I tried to send a message in a bottle, via facebook. Send it out there, see what happens. And what I got was he was sad.
I could see myself failing. I could see it.
And my strength wavered.
If you love something, you let it go...