Learning Curve

So I suck at letting go.
But I'm trying, ok?
Decisions seem so foggy. I'm not sure which way is up now. He tells me, oh how he tells me. But I have such a hard time trusting it. Maybe it's because time has finally hardened me. Or maybe it's because I can't. He hurt me so deeply and thoroughly. Something inside me is withdrawing, to protect my quivering heart. And how it quivered. It was scared. It was frightened.
Would being with him really be the wrong choice?
At this point, I had no idea. I thought of all the reasons there was tension. He hadn't promised to be committed to me, he hadn't said he wouldn't change his mind again. The way he phrased things bothered me. He had "come to his senses." He said he had been wrong. Why did that bug me so much? I wasn't sure. I felt it was almost impossible to go back to the way we were. If not completely impossible. Could I grow to trust him again? And what about him graduating? And could he reassure me in the way I needed to be reassured? He held no promise for change. At least if he did, he didn't vocalize it. And I don't know if I could do that.
This is the point at which he felt he was just coming back to me for easy comfort. I mean, I knew it couldn't be that simple or seem that way to him, because human beings are complicated things. But I wasn't sure if he had strong feelings for me anymore like he thought he did. And if he did have feelings, were they feelings? Or were they feelings?
I guess I would just have to see what decision I made, although I was dreading it, because a lot depended on him. Could I let it go if I needed to?
Time would tell, and I would learn.