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Thoughts of him made me sad, mentions of him made me angry.
I couldn't fit into my world. Everything about my life felt like a bubble. I felt emotionally detached.
It was infuriating that he was happy, and moved on to someone else. Just. Like. That. Now I suppose it had been about a month, but I was still angry.
I could see him, in my head, telling me I was "so damn cute."
I could feel him, kissing me, making me feel real.
And now, he was some entity I couldn't even approach. I couldn't trust him, I couldn't see him, I couldn't talk to him, I couldn't look at him.
Seeing him brought up an emotional wall, I suppose to protect me from feeling anything.
I wanted to be past this part.
I had been feeling ok most days until today. Yes, it had been a little up and down.
But I had been too busy to fester.
I missed him but I didn't see how I could care about him.
I wanted to cry and couldn't.
That hardly ever happens to me.