Turn Around

I want to say it's a gradual change.
I want to say it's instant.
It is, in fact, neither.
In a sense, one day, you wake up, and suddenly, you are an adult. You move out, you feed yourself, clothe yourself, wash yourself, and look after yourself.
In the other sense, it is something that happens over time. Slowly your parents begin to trust you with more responsibility. Slowly they tell you of their money problems you never knew existed. Slowly they they begin to tell you things you would only admit to close friends or lovers. Not their children.
I turned around one day, and I was there. I was doing my own laundry, cooking my own food, paying my own expenses (well most of them anyway) and making my own decisions.
Such charge of my life was exhilarating. And scary. And I was only going to get more charge of it.
It was strange to have my parents consider me an adult now. I had felt like they had treated me like a child for so long. But it must have been hard for them. Seeing someone they loved so much not need them anymore. But I had shown them. I had shown them I could make mature choices and still love them. I came home and took care of everything, because it was the mature thing to do. Even though I had my independence, I came back. I did the chores, helped out, and made everything possible. I gave up my weekend to take care of things. I was proud of myself for making a mature decision, and knowing it was what I had to do to honor my family. Making sacrifices for your family was an adult decision, not one I had practiced in the last couple years of my life.
When I got in the car I smelled the cushiony, sick-sweet odor. My poor mother. I doubted for a minute, but I knew what the smell in the car meant. I hoped she had gained some small comfort from it before her journey. Only one smell I could think of lingered like that, stuck to the fabric.
One day you wake up and you are an adult.
Slowly you become an adult.
And there was no rule that I couldn't regress, or be allowed some childishness. But I could feel myself growing away from childhood.
I was reminded of this song--I got this CD for my 12th birthday from a kid I had had a crush on at the time. Oh sixth grade crushes. I invited him to my birthday party and he gave me a lullaby CD by Kenny Loggins. This is the first time I have listened to it in a long time. But the lyrics seemed appropriate.
"Where are you going, my little one, little one? Where are you going, my baby, my own? Turn around and you're two. Turn around and you're four. Turn around and you're a young girl going out of the dark. Turn around, turn around, turn around and you're a young girl going out of the door."
~ Turn Around by Kenny Loggins