I'm Not Over

It seemed as if the Universe was trying to shove him in my face.
I was on my way to class when I saw his car. I walked out one of the few designated pathways amidst the construction and there it was. It was his. His red bag was tossed in the back, although I didn't need to see that to identify the car.
The temptation to do something...was well, tempting. But I walked away from it, unsure of what I was feeling.
Something was pulling me, torturing me as a I walked away. I concentrated on what I was feeling because it was making me feel anxiety in the pit of my stomach.
I gritted my teeth in physics while I thought. I was sad. I felt loss. I felt a hint of betrayal. It felt unfair for him to admit things to me, but take them away, like a nasty joke. Just kidding, I've replaced you, and I could never care about you again. Just kidding I've found someone new and better. Just kidding, I'm going to use my power over you to make you want me and then leave.
It stung.
Why would he do that?
I felt feelings for him deep in my chest, like a wound I couldn't seal. Why did he have to make it so hard?
I felt anger.
But mostly I felt loss.
I realized what I most wanted to do when passing his car was climb in. I wanted the owner of that car to be there, and unlock it for me. I wanted us to drive away, and for everything to be okay again. I had a feeling I wouldn't see the car there again any time soon.
I was so angry.
It seemed like he had more free time than he had let on. Plus now I hear he was thinking of grad school? Something about that enraged me. All the reasons he dumped me seemed not to exist.
I wasn't over this, and I couldn't pretend I was.
"What a waste of time, the thought crossed my mind, that I never missed a beat. Can't explain the who or what I was trying to believe. What would you do? What would you do, do you know? I once had a grip on everything, it feels better to let go. I'm not over, I'm not over you just yet. Can not hide it, you're not that easy to forget. I'm not over."
~ I'm Not Over by Carolina Liar